It always feels awkward to come back to VelociCrafter after a lengthy absence. In most cases, I definitely meant to post a new entry before we hit this stage. I probably started work on a post weeks ago, and then my ridiculous life got in the way. By the time I finally sit down to finish the entry, it's been a month since I've had anything to say and it's weird - especially when I drop off mid-series like I did this time. Rest assured, that saga will come to a close soon. In the mean time, though, I thought it might help if I explain the radio silence. If you're just here for the DIY, no worries. Come back in a few days and we'll be back to work.
I've been spending a lot of time with snakes lately.
So far, 2015 has been a wonderful and terrible year. I finally got comfortable at work, I developed some really strong friendships, and I started to stretch the boundaries of my very small comfort zone.
I also had to watch a lot of people that I cared about walk out of my life, and it really sucked.
Without getting bogged down in details, I think the whole experience was very similar to burning off a bad tattoo with a laser. There's this part of you that you always expected to be there, and then one day - for whatever reason - it can't be. So there's this painful process where you're losing a piece of yourself and you know that you're not going to be the same when it's all over.
Now project that feeling over six months, and you should have a pretty solid idea of why I fled the state this summer. We surprised our Ohio friends and family with a visit, then spent a week in Texas eating avocados and napping on the beach. We made time to explore a little of Houston, and then spent a week watching Netflix in our apartment. But even while all these wonderful things were happening, I still couldn't always shake the crappy feelings I'd been carrying around all year. I also started dreaming about snakes.
It wasn't every night, but more often than not, my dreams were full of snakes. They weren't scary - most of the time they just slithered around and minded their own business - but they were showing up in ridiculous places. One night, I had an exceptionally bizarre dream where I was trying to buy a house in Colorado with a backyard full of snakes. I woke up while the real estate agent was trying to assure me that the snakes were actually quite cute when they huddled on the porch for warmth. This was weird even by my standards, so I decided to Google the meaning behind my slithery dream friends.
Apparently, snakes invade your dreams while you're in the middle of a painful healing process. Since they lose their skin while they grow, they're supposed to remind us that any kind of progress is probably going to suck while it's happening.
At the time, I didn't think too much of that explanation. I was in Texas, and I was much more concerned with meeting an actual snake than I was with the metaphorical ones. Gradually I started to dream about more sensible things, and I actually forgot all about the snakes until my parents came to visit us last week. We decided to go on a nature hike one day, and ran into this guy at the nature center.
Despite his lack of fur and legs, I instantly liked him. First of all, he spent a lot of time working his way onto that tree limb. I respect that kind of tenacity regardless of the species it came from. He also had a cool facial expression, as far as snake faces go anyway.
While I was watching him, I remembered all of my snake dreams and the painful healing that they were supposed to symbolize. And, in what seems to be par for the course in my odd, little life, I found myself having a psychological breakthrough in a swamp nature center. Change is painful - losing a layer of yourself is painful - but sometimes it's necessary for growth. And if you're not growing as a person, what's the point?
I'm not saying that things won't suck occasionally; old pictures, places and situations are still going to be uncomfortable. I guess the biggest difference is that I'm okay with it now. And I hope that if you, my clever readers, are in an unpleasant situation, you realize that eventually you're going to be okay with it too. Surround yourselves with awesome, creative people who love you. Find an outlet for the crappy feelings. Make cool stuff and listen to good music. And make time to hang out with some snakes. They can be surprisingly insightful.
Stay clever.
Now project that feeling over six months, and you should have a pretty solid idea of why I fled the state this summer. We surprised our Ohio friends and family with a visit, then spent a week in Texas eating avocados and napping on the beach. We made time to explore a little of Houston, and then spent a week watching Netflix in our apartment. But even while all these wonderful things were happening, I still couldn't always shake the crappy feelings I'd been carrying around all year. I also started dreaming about snakes.
 |
| I'm not even a Slytherin. |
It wasn't every night, but more often than not, my dreams were full of snakes. They weren't scary - most of the time they just slithered around and minded their own business - but they were showing up in ridiculous places. One night, I had an exceptionally bizarre dream where I was trying to buy a house in Colorado with a backyard full of snakes. I woke up while the real estate agent was trying to assure me that the snakes were actually quite cute when they huddled on the porch for warmth. This was weird even by my standards, so I decided to Google the meaning behind my slithery dream friends.
Apparently, snakes invade your dreams while you're in the middle of a painful healing process. Since they lose their skin while they grow, they're supposed to remind us that any kind of progress is probably going to suck while it's happening.
At the time, I didn't think too much of that explanation. I was in Texas, and I was much more concerned with meeting an actual snake than I was with the metaphorical ones. Gradually I started to dream about more sensible things, and I actually forgot all about the snakes until my parents came to visit us last week. We decided to go on a nature hike one day, and ran into this guy at the nature center.
Despite his lack of fur and legs, I instantly liked him. First of all, he spent a lot of time working his way onto that tree limb. I respect that kind of tenacity regardless of the species it came from. He also had a cool facial expression, as far as snake faces go anyway.
While I was watching him, I remembered all of my snake dreams and the painful healing that they were supposed to symbolize. And, in what seems to be par for the course in my odd, little life, I found myself having a psychological breakthrough in a swamp nature center. Change is painful - losing a layer of yourself is painful - but sometimes it's necessary for growth. And if you're not growing as a person, what's the point?
I'm not saying that things won't suck occasionally; old pictures, places and situations are still going to be uncomfortable. I guess the biggest difference is that I'm okay with it now. And I hope that if you, my clever readers, are in an unpleasant situation, you realize that eventually you're going to be okay with it too. Surround yourselves with awesome, creative people who love you. Find an outlet for the crappy feelings. Make cool stuff and listen to good music. And make time to hang out with some snakes. They can be surprisingly insightful.
Stay clever.
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